Best things about having a malignant brain tumor

Handicapped parking permit
Handicapped parking
Handicapped restrooms
Not having to drive the Banfield Freeway in the rain, during rush hour traffic.
My car takes very little gas, since I no longer have a car.
Being able to eat what I want, when I want, and as much as I want.
I get to wear my fitted Radiation Oncology mask tonight when the trick-or-treaters come to the door. Pretty scary.
I have a brain tumor; what's your excuse?
Despite what you may think, I am not a brain surgeon; I've only had the surgery.
My brain surgeon said one more hole in my head and I'll be a bowling ball.
Having hair is soooo yesterday!

I think the following posted on The Brain Tumor Foundation web site (http://www.braintumorfoundation.org) is pretty funny:

Brain Tumor Awareness Day, originally scheduled for November 14, is being re-scheduled for early 2011. The date and information for the “New” Brain Tumor Awareness Day will be announced shortly.

Trending

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Texas Rangers NY Yankees
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Matt Cain Walker, Texas Ranger
Fear the Beard Beware the Claw
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Larue the Pug Avandia the Drug
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Speaker-to-be Boehner Speaker Pelosi
Tavaris Jackson Brett Favre
Conan Oprah

Retired husband at Target

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is
like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received
the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children
obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs
were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.

Forwarded by Anne Fletcher, Marge's friend, former co-worker at The Allergy Clinic, and cookie-maker extraordinaire.

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

You know how, when you listen to a song on the radio (or nowadays, the iPod), the song catches in your head, and sometimes infects your brain, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to get rid of it, except maybe try to replace it with another. If you're looking for such a viral infection to infect YOUR brain, YouTube "Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. It has over 2,500,000 uploads. A sample of the chorus lyrics:

Home, Let me come Home
Home is Whenever I'm with you
Home, yes I am Home
Home is wherever I'm with you.

Nothing profound, just...infectious.

I had my third Avastin (bevacizumab) infusion this morning, and it went well, just as with the others. The plan now is for three additional infusions, every two weeks, then repeat the MRI to assess tumor response to this agent.

On TV this weekend: Les Miles, More Favre

The Couch
by Jason Gay
The Wall Street Journal
October 22, 2010

This weekend the Couch asks baseball to sort out this year's World Series before the East Coast is snowed in for the winter (done), wonders if Les Miles can possibly pull off one more crazy win as LSU faces Auburn (he couldn't), and sees if Green Bay can still work up the anger toward Brett Favre as the Packers host the Vikings (yes).

Trick Plays
by Yoni Brenner
Shouts & Murmurs
The New Yorker
October 4, 2010

The Open-Source Sweep
A week before the big game, team officials engineer a "chance encounter" between the opposing quarterback and the actor Jake Gyllenhaal, The pair become fast friends, attending a number of folk concerts and rummage sales together. As their relationship blossoms, Gyllenhaal inculcates the quarterback with progressive ideas about transparency and freedom of information, and by the end of the week he convinces the quarterback to post his team's playbook on WikiLeaks. The team loses five of its next six games, and the quarterback is benched. As for Jake Gyllenhaal, he is eventually cleared of any wrongdoing, and is hired by Fox Sports to join Howie Long and Michael Strahan on the Sunday NFL pre-game show.

West Coast Misdirection
During the off-season, the opposing quarterback is again approached by the actor Jake Gyllenhaal. The quarterback warns Gyllenhaal to keep his distance, but Gyllenhaal tells him that it isn't like that---he wants to offer the quarterback a part in an independent film he is producing, called "The Quarterback and the Dame," about an unlikely romance between a gridiron hero and the English stage legend Judi Dench. The quarterback reads the script, and he has to admit it's pretty good, so he signs on. The quarterback arrives on the set for the first day of shooting, only to find Gyllenhaal costumed in shoulder pads and eye black. The quarterback goes berserk, believing that he'd been promised the part. "No, no," Gyllenhaal coos, "you're playing Judi Dench."

Met at the Movies

I took my MIL Mary Beth to see a Live in HD Metropolitan Opera performance of Mussorgsky's Boris Godunov at a local movie theatre Saturday morning. It started at 9 a.m., and we left after noon. Was told that it didn't end until 2:15 p.m., but we were long gone by then. Overall, an enjoyable experience and a very well done production. It was sung in Russian, with English subtitles. In fact, the entire cast was Russian with the exception of the title character, who was played by the German Rene' Pape. I had won a voucher for a pair of free tickets from All Classical FM.

Good Poems for Hard Times

This anthology of 185 poems was selected by Garrison Keillor from those he has read on "The Writer's Almanac" on public radio.

Enough pilfering from poor Mr. Keillor,
If not for Prairie Home Companion
He'd be out on the bread line.

If you like the poems
you can buy the book,
$10.88 from Amazon,
or borrow it for free.